My Anniversary is coming up and I stumbled upon this ever so beautiful poem:
Blessing For Marriage
by James Dillet Freeman

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance and understanding.

May you always need one another—not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness.

A mountain needs a valley to be complete; the valley does not make the mountain less, but more; so let it be with you and you.

May you need one another, but not out of weakness.

May you want one another, but not out of lack.

May you entice one another, but not compel one another.

May you succeed in all important ways with one another,
and not fail in the little graces.

May you look for things to praise, often say “I love you!”
and take no notice of small faults.

If you have quarrels that push you apart,
may both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back.

May you enter into mystery which is the awareness of one another's presence—No more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side,

And warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distance cities.
May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy.

May you have love, and may you find it loving one another!

Thank you, God, for Your presence here with us and Your blessing on this marriage.
Amen.

Hey all this is a picture I took one morning of myself, I can't believe how much I look like someone out of the 40-60's era! I tweaked the soft edges with my edit program, I like it a whole lot!



I just love a good picture! I am no queen, princess or anything like that--pretty down to earth, really with a sense of humor that belongs in the bathroom believe it or not. I still get all silly when I hear the 'sound of ducks', but it actually is a fart...I enjoy people making fun of our everyday embarrassments, usually its funny because its dreadfully true! Laughing at what we may think only happens to us, is something we all experience.

I was on an Instant Message chat with an old friend who is old enough to be my parent, he is a professor at KSC where Logan went to college and met; now our great friend! We all have a great friendship so much so that we asked him and his wife to be the godparents of our kiddos. I had a dream of him and his wife and just for the heck of it,
told him of my dream that seemed like a happy event, someone having a baby...
Normally he's all about saying ferrociously funny things that at times I think he is a complete dork, but when I began telling him of my dream and he went so serious on me. He wanted to know how I got the information and who I had been talking to, but I explained I just went to bed one night and woke with such a dream. He hinted to me that I was "on the right track" but how did I know. He said to me, "You don't know what you're talking about", and "you have no idea what you're saying" and I replied, "I have NO IDEA" and if it was true, nobody has told me a thing, not Logan, not my friend's wife, nobody! He told me and hinted at I was truly onto something but said it would have to be written privately. I wondered if he was kidding me and sometimes he has a few too many drinks and could have lost all real meaning to me in my conversation with him...
This morning he replied, in fact, and embarrassed, his step daughter, a minor, had indeed gotten pregnant, got very sick and bleeding badly and had a miscarriage just a few days ago, which is about the same time I actually had the dream!!!!!
He was really freaked out and now that I know this, I am astonished as well! We don't live close by, I've not seen him or his wife in about a year, but we stay in touch.
He couldn't believe my timing for one, and my dream being the content and of some nature close to what actually happened.
I tried to tell him I have dreams at times that happen and turn into reality. Though, I can't wake up and say, "yup that's going to be real", life just happens and it reveals itself at a later time. Recently I dreamed of myself being in England and it felt so real. Talked to our English friends and they said one evening they were singing "my song". "My song" is putting my first name to a funny jingle and it happened about the same night I went to bed and dreamed it. I don't know how, I'm not studying anything, just feel connected to my state of being more than ever. Call it a talent, but I call it a phenomenon in what sleep is making me aware of real or not. Now if only I could predict the powerball numbers!!

So my dad, brothers, sisters, wives, husbands etc. working on losing weight as in the "Biggest Loser" weight loss program, but are doing it all on our own pace. In a fast moving world we live in we are communicating by email on ourselves and our lives. I like it, getting us talking in one form or another. At times I feel as though the notion of, "you're fat because you are stupid, lazy, uneducated, etc" is being put out there, and I don't know if the authors realize, that, that is essentially what is being said between the lines. I agree that some people are truly fat because they are as said above, but I honestly feel, in this family, we know deep within ourselves what is good for us but for whatever the reason, if one, we choose otherwise.
I lack the recipies to incorporate good foods into my meals, when I go shopping I buy what I know on the top of my head, is what it boils down to. I know what I know about cooking because it was learned/ingrained at an early age, and lots of healthy foods were not purchased because of a short shelf life and the high costs! Lack of science that we know now about certain foods. Even these Wine, Coffee, Tea which was taught, because of a belief, not to even press your lips to these "awful" things, but as I've grown researched myself, science is debunking such claims of people who say, that what they say is "law", regardless. BAH!! to me those are some lies which is why I couldn't be fooled by those that claim to be something they are not! But who am I? Oh yah, a fatty!

The last week is here, Logan is getting the last treatment and will be cured of the disease, how cool is that!? There are two operations left to go about a month from now that rids him from all that remains of the disease. There will be some new adjustments I can be sure of, but I'm not going to let it get in our way. Our journey has been very intense and I don't wish anyone to have to walk in my shoes the way things drummed up. I as fortunate to have a few family members who had my back for all it was worth. Some very dedicated relatives that I was able to rely on helped me in the little things, but to me, little was HUGE! We have had prayers vocied among several different religious denominations during their service in our behalf from those who know us and those who know of us, so grateful of that also. The social network of friends have held me up "virtually" and gave ther kind notes of love, and good energy! Love it! And if I didn't hear from you that's just fine I know we all have busy lives. The visits to Chemo have been like a full time job, in at 8am and there till 4or5pm! We are almost through it, I can't wait for this to get behind us, really! My work has been supporting me the best as they can. I have been on some variable hours and sometimes on call and working on the weekends I should be off, but I work in the people business, it's what I do! So I will update again as things start to close out. You take care of yourself too!

In the past few months I've been dealing with a whole ton of issues. Many of them quite personal. I'm seriously drained of it all! Automotive breakdowns, child meltdowns, husband's diagnosis of cancer, the list goes on! Work has assured me I won't lose my job over the medical issues of Logan. They gave me a wreching time one night I had to call out and it made me furious!! My boss pulled through for me and actually worked in my place. That had never happened before! As of late, the cancer thing is almost completely behind us and it has been a fight that has changed our lives undoubtedly. I've been depressed but coming out of it, going to the gym, making some goals to get my hunting license, reconnecting with some activities that I have not done in years, namely skiing, next winter. So I'm making some changes and sticking to it. I would love to lose the weight I've gained since having my kids and getting to a happy me! I have been overall happy but I do fall into a demeanor of loneliness and certain sadness and eventually gets everyone else around me down and that's not healthy.
Finding peace in each new moment, meditating, attempting to keep it all together, being aware of my shortcomings and seeking guidance from the Higher Being!

I've been working, what the hell else is new?? But being at work has opened some friendships for me. Normally I'm not making friends at work since I hang out with 90-yr olds, though I have been making some great friendships with them it is not the same when they aren't able to get out of the house with me and just go do whatever, though I know that they would if they were physically able, etc. But the story is becoming friends with relatives of those I care for and other people who come around, the nurses or other caregivers. Logan and I made a friend with a football parent who has been helping out with rides for the practices since my job has not allowed me the time off to go myself. All in a matter of just a month and a half I've developed some great friendships and have even done a "girls night out" something I've been wanting for and needing! I love being around people who I can relate to. One friend, I couldn't believe it, told Logan she had been mormon before, all because a joke Logan made about Mormons! So we laughed to find out that we had an old belief in common. It just made our friendship that more enjoying cause we don't like to admit we were once among the cult; however when you know someone else who has been there and left it too, it a laughing good time!
A group of gals got together for a night out, one older than I, never been married or had kids, the other has a kid and not currently married but has a boyfriend. We get along so well and we have some great connection with each other, nothing like I've ever had before! I never found adult mormon women to be any fun so making friends was unlikely. I threw that life away long ago and am coming to a new life of friends.