Thursday, January 21, 2010

My political involvement has been growing over the years. My history in a nutshell: I cared very little living under my parent's roof, though wondered why these people were always on the news. I did get the idea that Ronald Reagan was a very awesome dude and talked very smoothly. I now look back and think, I was right, if only there were more Ronald Reagans!! Then I remember the next president, George Bush, and I remember the January night that we had to go to War in the Gulf back in 1990. I was young that I was terrified of the idea. Clearly I remember talking about it with those around me who tried to calm my fears. Eventually, things calmed down in my mind, hey, there weren't any bombs flying around me so I felt safe. Then I clearly remember all the rage in the race with Clinton up for president and I watched more intently and sensed he was a tool. I was in my own way, outraged when he became president, I hated the feeling I got from the guy just by watching him and listening to his verbal diarrhea. I tried to ignore politics thinking that these sleezeballs would go away. As I gained more maturity the whole sex thing with Clinton and Monica Lewinski--that was when so many things changed, not only for me, but for the country! I began to watch more and feel more outraged about the goings on in the leadership of this country. I decided that I would take part of the movement to get someone with some decent values in the leadership position and it was my first time to ever be of age to vote! Since then, I've had many complicated discussions with Logan and learned about the direction of this country, and furthermore did research along with Logan on Youtube where there are loads of stuff you can't find and will never see on network TV that shocked me and have forever changed my life. I began to live with more understanding of the leaders, the history of the country (thought I'd learned that in school, but no), and what kind of direction our future was headed in. I loved being included in conversations at work, or in social gatherings and loved to get into discussions and debates and over time have developed my own opinions about life and the current events. In that result I was coming out of a cloud a fog of fantasy. I never smoked any drugs, but I sure lived like I had, with not a clue!! I am glad to be out of that thick fog.
I sure had my moments where I'm sure people looked at me and thought "wtf" I can also attribute some of that to have lived as a moron, I mean mormon, LOL. I love picking on myself in saying that, cuz wow, after I walked away from it all, so many friends shared that they were glad we left. I finally came to a place within myself where my internal beliefs often spoke differently. Gays and Lesbians for example, I don't agree with the lifestyle, but they are just as you or I, with needs to be filled and if marriage completes them, then that's theirs to be. In 'heaven' or the afterlife in the mormon way of thinking, you can't be 'together forever' unless you've been married in the temple....(I was married in the temple, would love an opportunity for a do-over outside the temple with my hunny) Again, I looked honestly at that one and Never could really agree with thatthough I tried to conform to believing that, it just never felt TRUE. ....(was I a hypocrite or what??? well, that's why I had to leave and never go back.) Ha, even reading a book that in many spots verbatim reads the same as the bible...see the right hand of the screen on my blog here that says 'old beliefs are fun' its quite an eye opener. My blinders are so gone! God created us all, why would he shun us from our own beloveds? The ever so popular screwing with minds on the afterlife just can't be right! Heaven, what I believe, is what our conciousness will return to and believes it is a place we will one day go, but not stay for long, as we have many more lives to live. Yes, I believe in reincarnation, without a doubt! And I don't believe Jesus is all he's cracked up to be, its complicated if you don't have an open mind and room for change. I no longer see him as the guy who died for me, nor do I believe he was some divine being. Its something I'm still working out in my head for sure, but I will one day write that out or refer to a website how I see him. I guess more like a history figure, a sage, a great teacher, but leave the divine out of it.
Religion goes deep as does politics too. Many have their strong opinions on both subjects and they are somewhat one in the same. Some that have no opinion on one or the other, I have very little patience for people like that, or I feel I need to teach you to think about it. I saw a lot of politics in the mormon religion, and there are a lot of people who don't admit that it exists. Some people live like politics is their religion, so it can too be. Religion is strong in the hearts of many; don't care if its Christian, Jewish, Hindu, etc, and so are politics, they've been around for a very,very, very, very long time. What they have in common are laws and lets face it, the control of groups of people and how they live, and that's pretty broad.
America overall is great because it is the first country that said 'hey, we don't care what religion you are, and we acknowledge that men are born with rights' and again very broad, but around the world today we are the first which is so attractive. If you don't know it, the Constitution that was formed and today reigns as our "King" is being beat down day by day, our liberties and freedoms getting chipped away at day by day and it is very unsettling to me and my family. I hope we never see a Holucaust in our country or of the like or something horrific as such, that's why I have been closely attentive in the news; I will not become a slave, as such, I'd rather die.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

The beginning of the year has started with a bump a week in! I have managed to take the wrong road and be at the the wrong place at the wrong time and now my car is a total loss. I can either choose to be so angry, but that never got me feeling better, so I just accept it as it is and try to get moving no matter what. I'm very fortunate that we all walked away and didn't have injuries that prohibited us from doing everyday activities. I can still work and the kids can still do all the things they do. I am very fortunate that we weren't going very fast and it was a T-bone crash so it was only my impact. We were all belted in the car, and I was able to brake some to shave some of the speed impact. Alina and I did go to the doctors to get checked out from our bumps and bruises and seem to be fine. I couldn't believe the incident, it was quite upsetting. How long it will take to get life back to normalcy is undetermined at this time. But Damn it, cars are such a pain to replace.

Friday, January 1, 2010

2009 is over! It was socially one of the very best years for us in our entire 12yrs of marriage!! Alot I can do now even when I'm not dedicating my life away to a volunteering fraternity ward! We got together with some great friends, old and new and had moments that we will never forget! Logan and I have let the good times roll and they rolled into great laughter, great friendships and silly moments! The kids are happy too. Even moving into our newest apartment has turned us into happier people since it is large enough to have people over and room enough for everyone to get along and get around. We have the entire 2nd floor of the building that is quite large, I would say longer than a mobile home. We even have a nice deck near the kitchen and living room so in the summer the party can go outdoors.
We had Logan's parents and step-mom and my Dad and Eleanor over. We all had a wonderful time Christmas Day. We had good conversation that everyone was involved with, nobody was left out in any instance and the kids were enjoying themselves too! I was so happy to see everyone having such a nice time and we all had something to talk about. I hope to see more visitors and family come over this year! Family does come first at my house!